


The Cat-Dog

by sammysouffle (talesandthings)



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Crack, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 14:38:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11534310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesandthings/pseuds/sammysouffle
Summary: The Doctor brings home what River could only describe as a monstrosity





	The Cat-Dog

**Author's Note:**

> There are so many cute possibilities with these two. But yeah, this fic is pretty random.

It was the wet, slobbery kisses on her face that woke River up. 

“Mmmm… Doctor, what are you doing?” She sleepily mumbled. 

River scrunched up her nose when she felt drool all over her nose and cheeks. She slowly opened her eyes and-

“Shit, what is that?!” She exclaimed sitting up on the bed. 

The Doctor gasped and moved forward to grab the…  _monstrosity_  off their bed. “Don’t curse in front of our child. They’re still a baby, River!” She said, frowning at her. 

“Argh,” River complained as she wiped her face with the back of her hand. “What in the name of sanity  _is_ that, Doctor?" 

A huge smile spread across The Doctor’s face. "It’s a dog,” she said pointing oneof the animal’s faces in River’s face. The thing did look like a dog. It had floppy ears and short legs like a dachshund. It was also happily sticking out its tongue at River. However, the problem was that that wasn’t its only face. The Doctor pointed the other endof the animal at River and said, “ _And_  it’s a cat!” This end of the animal did look like a cat. A Siamese to be specific. This end also looked bored. 

After everything River had seen while traveling the universe, this animal still shocked and confused her. It really shouldn’t exist. 

The Doctor seemed perfectly happy, though. She first cooed at the dog end of the animal and then turned it before doing the same at the cat end. 

“Why?” Is all River could ask as she threw aside her sheets and sat her feet on the floor. 

“What do you mean  _why_?” The Doctor asked, tilting her head to the side. “It’s a two-in-one River. That’s genius!" 

"Where did you even get that?" 

The smile fell off the Doctor’s face, replaced with a sheepish look. "About that…" 

"Oh no, Doctor, what did you do?”

“We should probably get off this planet. Right now,” she replied setting the animal down on the floor. “They may or may not belong to the empress of this planet. And she may or may not be sending her army after us." 

River opened and closed her mouth and then sighed. "I don’t know whether to be happy or horrified that you’re turning into me." 

The Doctor leaned down and pressed a kiss on her lips as she said, "You could be both, sweetie. Just like our new child." 

“Oh, that thing is most definitely not our child,” River said as she got off the bed. The Doctor’s sad face made her sigh and kiss her again. “Okay, it’s our child. I do have a question, though. How does it-" 

"Go to the loo?” The Doctor asked. “I haven't quite figured out that bit myself yet." 

 

 


End file.
